Happy Thoughts

Well the living situation right now is extremely stressful.  In the last post, I mentioned my fiancee's parents irritating me a little bit.  Well let's just say I've been referring to his  mom lately has, "The Crazy." (Not to her of course)

If I let myself think about everything too hard I think I would go nuts.  Because of The Crazy, we're pushing the date for moving out sooner then ever.  There's meetings with loan officers and house hunting to add to an already full schedule.  Oh, and I'm going back to school at the end of June although I'll just have had my baby at the begining of June. Yikes.

And so like most people do, I'm avoiding my problems and thinking about things that make me happy.  One of them being the adoptive parents for our son and how much they love him already.  Not to mention that they have so much in common with my fiance and I.  They came to visit us not too long ago and we took them to pet store to meet someone very special, Martin.  They loved it and they took some really great pictures.  Here's one of them :

 If you couldn't tell from the picture, Martin is a 140 pound tortoise who walks around the pet store we go to.  Hopefully he will make for some good stories when they tell our son about the times they met us. 

Even the best planning can't fix this

I'm what you would call a planner.  I try and figure my bills out down to the T and then, I try and think, how could I make them less?  I plan my school out, I plan my work, my savings, and housing situation.  And I'm always trying to go up and up until I'm at this happy place.

Of course, today, I was telling myself, hey, slow down a little.  There's no hurry to buy a house.  I can deal with my living situation for awhile longer and just save.  That was...until I walked in the door today. I pay rent to my fiancee's parents.  Between the two of us, we pay $400 plus our own groceries.  We have a room in the basement and we do our dishes in the laundry tub.  I hate doing that, because I would love to do dishes where I cook, but I deal with it.  Well, I walk in today, and all of the dishes from the laundry tub (3 bowls from the course of the day, not that much) are set up on a table in the middle of the room.  We're not allowed to set dishes in the laundry tub anymore.  We can wash them there, but as soon as we eat, we have to wash them.  Really? Why do I not have a say in this? Oh, yeah, because despite the fact I pay rent, it's not my house.

And in my frustration, I now want to plan until I can get us into our own house.  We're looking at foreclosed houses that in theory wouldn't be that much.  We could do it.  But I hate when even my best laid plans fail, and there's a million what ifs.  I wish I could handle living here better, or be able to control my temper better.  But it's hard.  I want to go take their dishes which sit up there and put them on the floor or the living room table.  Then tell them not to put them in the sink, because I like to keep the sink clear.  But I can't do that.  And so I'm back to planning.  I would just like to get to a point where my finance and I can support ourselves completely and I wouldn't have to take everyone's crap.  So here's to planning and not driving myself completely insane. :(

A Year In Review

Have you ever just taken the time to think about the places life has taken you?  There's those years where it feels like nothing will ever change and you're just moving in slow motion.  Then there's those years where things are constantly changing.

I had a friend come into my work who I hadn't seen in over a year.  As we talked, of course she asked, "What's been new with you?"  Where to begin?

In the past year:
-I've worked at McDonald's, a steakhouse, and Buffalo Wild Wings
-I got fired from BWW and had a lawsuit against them
-I then worked (and still do) at a bookstore and at Arby's
-I got engaged and planned a wedding!
-I postponed said wedding because of crazy parents
-I found out I was pregnant
-I'm currently going through the adoption process (one of the hardest, but best experiences of my life)
-I'm in the process of buying a house

Is that enough for you? Because it felt like way too much for me at times.  But of course, all I ended up saying to that friend was, "Not too much, how about you?"  It was funny how that worked out.  And while I didn't share all of those things with that friend, it definitely got me thinking about all of those changes.  And it got me thinking about if I would change things if I could.  The answer, some of them, but others not for anything in the world.  I find myself thinking that you have to roll with the punches and move forward, even when things are too hectic to handle.  There's no way of knowing where a whole year will take you, but you can control how you react.

Don't stop me now

Well, as soon as I found an outlet for my writing and a plan to write as much as possible-- my laptop broke.  FIRST the internet port broke off my computer and THEN a few keys starting jamming and one even fell off.  It was pretty upsetting seeing as the computer isn't even two years old yet.  So for right now, I'm using my finance's desktop and trying to get mine fixed.  It's just sort of funny how that works.

And yet, here I am still writing.  Looks like nothing can stop me now :)  And this time spent with very limited internet access has given more time to work on my fiction writing.  I actually rewrote two chapters, finished a third, and started the fourth.  It's pretty crazy how much one can accomplish with out the much loved distractions.  My goal is to see how much I end up getting done in the time it takes for my laptop to be completely finished, and see what I can do to stay as productive.  Notice, that above I mentioned limited internet access.  I think to a degree it helps to have a community where I can check back on and keep writing.  I figured this place is for me and I write a lot of my novel (one day) news on writersdigest.com in the community section.

The Begining

Have you ever had one of those days where just everything bothers you?  Yeah, I'm having one of those.  At first, I was thinking I was completely justified in feeling this irritated.  When I told a friend, sure, I'll hang out with you but it has to be later and they in turn started asking me what exactly I was doing, yes I got irritated.  When I was cooking and the dog (a tiny beady eyed thing) was standing at my heels and I nearly tripped over her, yes I got irritated.  And when my computer decided it suddenly hated me and wanted to mess up on almost everything I've attempted tonight, yes I got irritated.


And then I was thinking, well maybe it's not all of these things that are the cause. Maybe it's me  just being way too cranky.  And I know that I don't want to end up being one of those really angry individuals that you can just look at and see that they're unhappy with their lives.

So I figured I would turn to one major thing in my life that calms me down: writing.  I already write fiction and that's a major part of my life, but it's been a long time since I've just written about everything in life that drives me nuts.  That's what this is.  I figure this could be my spot to talk about life in general as well as some of my writing projects.

And so this is the beginning of what will become the rants and raves about my life.  Hopefully it will lead to some decent posts and a less irritated me :)